The Gift of Loving Fathers

Dear Fellow Children of God,

 

This weekend Americans celebrate Fathers’ Day.  So what do you think, is Fathers’ Day just another made up holiday to sell greeting cards and encourage gift sales?  That might be the case if being a father was easy and everyone did it well.  But, being a father, a good father, is difficult.

 

I try to take my instruction for being a good father from Scripture.  In Ephesians 6:4 God tells us, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” 

 

First, please notice that God does not just give mothers the job of raising and nurturing children.  Actually, God calls for fathers to take the lead in parenting.  How often does that happen today?

 

And which of the two instructions in this verse takes precedence?  Do fathers first teach by providing “training and instruction in the Lord?”  Such instruction would include some correction and direction for healthy, godly, living. But you know as well as I do, seldom does anyone enjoy correction.  We’ve all seen children throw tantrums when given direction from parents.  Grown-ups don’t like correction either.

 

Or, does a father work first to build up and encourage, even in the face of bad choices by his children?  That would follow the instructions of this verse which say, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children.”  Children surely need to be loved and affirmed.  Children need to be loved no matter which mistakes they make, or which rebellion they engage in.  But neither can we ignore the need for correction and discipline in our lives.  Being a good father is difficult!

 

And just because a father makes a wise choice for fatherly love in one situation does not mean this choice will work for the next opportunity to nurture and instruct his children.  In the story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11 ff) the same father had different reactions from two different sons.    Being a father, a good father, is difficult.

 

Maybe as a child, like me, you got angry at times that your father corrected your bad choices.  But, as a father myself who has struggled with what is the best way to love my children, I now realize what a difficult job being a father is.  It is difficult to love and direct children in choices that are healthy.  It can be especially difficult to direct children toward godly choices.

 

Perhaps the best help I have found in seeking to be a good father is not just in the direction of Scripture, but in the example of our heavenly Father.  In seeking to provide fatherly love and direction to my children I consider the love of our heavenly Father and try to learn.  God’s example is one of perseverance in love and compassion even in the face of the rebellion of His children.  In Psalm 103 we are told about God as Father. “8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. 9 He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; 10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. 11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. 13 As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;”

 

Even the heavenly Father has children who act in ways that are foolish and do not follow His direction.  Yet, God is compassionate and forgiving, even as He gives correction and guidance.  In sending His Son our Heavenly Father shows that His love to even be sacrificial.  I would like to be the kind of Father to my children that God is to us.

 

Being a good father is difficult.  So, I am thankful that my father was a Christian man who set an example of Christian faith and integrity.  I am thankful that my father sought to love me even when his son was foolish and rebellious.  I am even more thankful we have a heavenly Father who loves and forgives, who instructs and is compassionate.  May the love of the heavenly Father help fathers today do the difficult job of nurturing and instructing their children in faith and love.

 

A Child of God, Thankful for my father, and my Heavenly Father,

Pastor Jonathan

 

P.S.  Here is a picture of my dad with his five children from a family gathering in 2012. https://plus.google.com/photos/114993745799525883148/albums/5700975016738860449/5700975016796150818?banner=pwa&pid=5700975016796150818&oid=114993745799525883148

 

P.P.S. This past Monday I got to take three of my four children fishing with local guide, Andy Couch.  It was a great trip for father and children.  https://plus.google.com/photos/114993745799525883148/albums/6023176388177557313/6023179169038140514?banner=pwa&pid=6023179169038140514&oid=114993745799525883148

 

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ABOUT ‘THOUGHTS FROM THE PASTOR’ -   I am sending these e-mail messages, hopefully weekly, to all St. John members and friends whose e-mails I have.  (I am always adding new names of friends and members – in case you are just receiving this e-mail for the first time.)  However, if you don’t want to receive this e-mail, please let me know, and I’ll gladly leave your name off my list for this message. . . Or, if you know someone who would like to receive one of these e-mails, please send me their e-mail address.

 

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